BROTHERS.
What do you think of when you think of the word brothers?
Protectors? Bullies? Best friend? Asshole?
What do I think of? Well, considering that I pretty much only have one now that the other one has decided he no longer has me as a sister. What did I say about that when it happened?
I shrugged and said he’d be back. He turned to me the last time his relationship ended and he will again when it happens in the future but was I hasty in my thought process? What if he’s so in love with her that he forgets all about his family and if he’s turned everyone away, will he have the courage to come back and ask for help and guidance?
Thinking back to our childhood, I don’t ever recall him talking to me, including me in on anything. Granted, he is 8 years older than me, but even when I was 16, he found it hard to talk to me. He tried a few times to have “bonding” chats with me but only when he was drunk. He’d rather hang with his friends and be miserable that he didn’t have a girlfriend (mainly due to the fact that he was stoned all the time or just didn’t have the courage to ask a girl out).
How do I feel about this treatment now that I’ve been sitting on it for the past few months?
Hmmm to be completely honest about it, I hate it. I hate that my brother, whom I was so close to for a while and I told everything to, can’t talk to me anymore. He can’t say he was sorry that she called me those things and that she bad mouthed me to everyone I knew. He believed her words that I was lying and she was right.
He chose her over his family and that to me, doesn’t sit right. I am sorry I introduced her to him now and I really thought he would be a bigger person but I was wrong. I was wrong with so many things so here is my apology.
I’m sorry that I wasn’t the person you wanted me to be.
I’m sorry that I don’t want to drink every night and forget about the real issues in life.
I’m sorry that I don’t have a child to a man that doesn’t love me and therefore cannot relate to what she is going through.
I’m sorry that I can’t be someone who can sit there and watch her turn you into a loser who has no friends.
I’m sorry that I don’t want to be friends with someone who swears at her child, doesn’t want to work, drinks/smokes/and does other unspeakable.
And finally, I’m sorry that I don’t need to drink and carry on like a twit when I don’t get my way.
That’s a lot of things to be sorry for but it seems a tall price to pay to lose one’s brother.
